Christmas

I don't want to take away any Christmas cheer. But in all the festivities with extended family, we only sang a few hymns. and we have yet to do the yearly reinactment of The Nativity Scene AND the prophecy of Samuel the Lamanite. Boo.


i'm scared to death of being alone. you know when i realize this? when i am alone. huh.


i want to revisit summer. when i left the people i tried to be friends with for 17 years. i spent time with new people for one day and finally realized the world is not as small as Green Bay. Thank Goodness. And i realized those people i had tried to impress just aren't that into me, but there are always other people who will know me. not just know i exist, but know me.

Someday, you should ask me about the week i spent in a rural town in southern Illinois, and how it changed my life.

But for now. Sing and honor Christ the Savior. Love your Family.

Merry Christmas :)

sometimes

sometimes i feel like we have a heavy burden to bare.

The adversary might be smiling now.

but falling hurts, and that's the truth. i want to be the rescue. that hope.

my family has something so awesome... i wish i could show all my friends instead of being the meager person i live as. i'm not talking about music or writing. Come into my home and it's different. I want to give that to people who mean something to me.

That's the burden i'm talking about. How i want to give this to everyone, but it feels so overwhelming when i bring it up, people roll their eyes or glaze over, thinking, "yeah, she's different. Nice and all, but she's not like us."

That's not the only burden. I wish with all our problems, we would carry these things together. I've been in a place recently where i was able to do that. To totally trust people because we weren't afraid of each other and there was this unconditional love. so much you could taste it.

i wanna help my friends here not fall.

lj